Chocolate is Yummy!
by crooked-soul
Summary: Remus overdoses on chocolate and general hilarity ensues, lots of randomness


**Disclaimer: If I owned them do you think I would be writing fanfiction? No, I would be completely lording it over everyone in my huge mansion :P**

**I'm warning you now this is extremely random, not quite sure what I was smoking when I wrote it, oh and some slash at the end if you squint and tilt your head a little ~Peace!~**

Sirius, James and Peter were for once, studying. They were sat in a quiet corner of the common room with their homework piled around them, admittedly earlier in the afternoon when they had first settled down to do the aforementioned studying with Remus, they had not exactly shown much willingness. Instead they had started to conduct a game that consisted solely of flicking little bits of rolled up parchment at each other, it was mostly just James and Sirius targeting each other with Peter interjecting now and again but of course, as soon as they realised quite how much they were annoying Remus, he quickly became their sole target. They even hastily constructed a points system of 10 for the chest, 15 for the hands and 20 for the face.

As a result Remus was no longer studying with them and had instead wisely, and rather angrily, retreated to the upstairs dormitory in order to study alone without the interruptions of his friends who he was inclined to believe had the mentality of hyperactive two year-olds. It had been a little over an hour since they had managed to chase Remus off now and they were starting to feel a bit contrite, however they had decided that it might be best if they left him alone for a while and impressed him by actually getting their work done on time for a change. None of them were quite expecting what happened next.

Peter, with his sharp ears, was the first to hear the faint crashing sound before his friends did, they had only just had enough time to register that it had come from the direction of the boys room and had sounded a bit like a door being thrown open before they were confronted by the sight of Remus bounding, literally _bounding_, down the stairs. Needless to say they were all a bit surprised by the werewolf's sudden exuberance, which was really saying something because as Marauders it was practically their job to _not _be surprised by the oddest things and instead spend all their time surprising and occasionally horrifying everyone else. They didn't have much time to think this over though before Remus was flying towards them with a huge grin on his face, he stopped abruptly just in front of the table and was evidently completely oblivious of their expressions of slight unease. Sirius and James glanced at each other as if hoping the other knew why their friend was suddenly looking so inexplicably flushed and jittery as though someone had filled his stomach with..um.. Jitterbugs! That makes sense, yeah, lets go with that.

So anyway, there was Remus, bouncing up and down on the spot and severely freaking out his friends, "Padfoot! Prongs! Wormtail! Aren't you bored?! I'm bored! Let's go do something!!" he announced

"Moony?" Sirius ventured, "Um, why is your tie wrapped around your head?" This of course made James and Peter break out into a fit of giggles (though of course if anyone had asked them later they would have firmly denied ever giggling, _ever, _only girls giggled) even Sirius himself was having a hard time keeping his face straight, however concerned he was for his friends mental health.

"Well obviously I couldn't take it off completely, I'm a prefect for Merlin's sake, but it was getting uncomfortable around my neck so I just moved it upwards a bit, duh" ironically enough Remus was now looking at Sirius as though _he_ were the mad one.

"Of course Moony, how silly of me, after all its the only logical explanation for someone having a tie wrapped around their head, unless of course they were thinking of starting up a new cult, which you would never do" Sirius teased, by now completely failing to keep the amusement off his face, whilst James and Peter beside him were shaking silently, James was actually having to bite down on his fist in an effort to contain his laughter.

"Oooh! A cult, do think we should start a cult Padfoot? It could be...the..the.. the Cult Of The Tie-wearing, Chocolate Eating Marauders!!" Remus now seemed to deem it an appropriate moment to start gesticulating wildly as he outlined what said cult might involve, I won't go into detail not least because it would take too long and I'm a lazy writer. This actually managed to make even several nearby first years to break down in hysterics whilst the other three Marauders were holding their sides and trying their damnedest not to fall off their chairs, which the werewolf of course failed to notice being too wrapped up in his new found plans for the aforementioned cult. He didn't even calm down once he had realised that developing a cult probably wasn't model behaviour for a prefect and would most likely be dismantled by Dumbledore almost as soon as it had begun, the fact that people were in fact very unlikely to join said cult in the first place seemed not to even enter his mind.

"Er, Remus? Mate?" asked Prongs who had recovered just enough to be able to force a couple of words out in order to try and figure out what exactly had turned their friend into something that resembled one of those annoying little yappy dogs who would run into a mirror repeatedly because _isn't this just the best game ever? _"Are you alright?"

"Me?" Remus stopped suddenly in front of James, his eyes shining, I might have to revise my earlier statement, he didn't just resemble an overexcited puppy, he resembled an overexcited puppy on crack. "I'm fan-dabby-do-zee!! Couldn't be better in fact, do you like chocolate?"

"Er.."

"I luurrvve chocolate, I bet you do like it, everybody does don't you know? Peter! You like it, I know you do" he pointed at the rat animagus causing him to choke a little on his laughing fit and huddle back into his chair. "You do too Padfoot! You like dark chocolate, I like it too, in fact I just had some, isn't that funny?" he giggled, "You see you guys were so mean and annoying that I still couldn't concentrate on my homework, even in a quiet dormitory! It was just soo boring and I really needed something to cheer myself up so I.." more giggling, "I.. RAIDED MY CHOCOLATE HOARD!!" he shouted, so loud that students in the corridor _outside_ of the common room heard him. Inside the common room though comprehension dawned on the faces of the three Marauders, they knew for a fact that Remus' secret stash of chocolate was always huge and if their friend had made his way through it in its entirety then he had to be on the biggest sugar high of his life.

Newly armed with this information, James and Sirius grinned evilly at each other, silently communicating the decision to have a little fun with their friend. Peters eyes flickered between the two, an expectant grin on his face whilst Remus was currently trying to list his top ten favourite chocolates, he couldn't quite decide whether to put fudgesicle fairies before his triple chocolate double whip strawberry flavoured fondants (with chocolate sprinkles of course).

"Say, Remus, I reckon I've got a pretty good idea to have some fun" James interjected

"Oooh! What, what, what?"

"Well, we could always go and see if Snivellus wants to play a game" his grin now rivalling that of a mad scientist who has just discovered how to create a doomsday device.

"Yeah, we should totally do that! We should, like, convince him that Dark Arts are wrong by showing how to really have fun!" Remus started bouncing up and down again and the thought of his new and 'ingenius' plan., "We should go RIGHT now!! Come on guys, up, up and away! Its practically our duty to make him see the error of his ways!" he started tugging on the sleeves of the Marauders to pull them up from their seats till 10 minutes later they were being enthusiastically hurried down the corridors and heading towards the dungeons where their map currently placed Snape.

Remus was in the lead, skipping merrily because apparently thats simply the _only _way to get from place to place nowadays, fortunately he had given up on trying to get his friends to follow suit quite quickly in favour of a demonstration to show them just how fun it was. Behind him James and Sirius were plotting hurriedly about how best to humiliate Snape (with photographic evidence of it of course) without incriminating themselves and specifically Remus, who couldn't be trusted to think rationally enough to prevent himself from getting into trouble, doped up as he was on sugar.

They were in fact so absorbed that they didn't notice Remus slowing down and finally stopping completely until they had completely overtaken him. "Remus?" Sirius glanced back to see where the werewolf had gone and saw him standing stock still in the middle of the corridor, his shoulders hunched, looking forlornly at the floor, "Guys wait, somethings wrong with Moony" James stopped and looked back at his friends, he cast a worried glance at Sirius when he took in the morose figure that seemed to have replaced their pet king of pep, absentmindedly putting out a hand to grab Peter and bring him to a standstill, Snape could wait.

_(In the dungeons a small sallow skinned boy paused in his perusal of a dark arts book he had borrowed from Avery and shivered briefly, wondering why he suddenly felt as if he had narrowly avoided a gruesome fate, he shrugged, putting it down to the disturbing nature of the spell he was reading about and forgot all about it.)_

"Remus, mate, whats wrong?" Sirius ventured, edging slowly towards the werewolf who was currently doing a very good impression of a kicked puppy, who had had its favourite chew toy taken away and then been kicked some more.

"Do you think the sugars made him comatose?" James piped in, wondering back down the corridor with Peter in tow and peering curiously around Sirius' shoulder, "Or maybe his minds snapped?"

"Oh come off it Prongs"

"Sorry, just saying, I mean its a possibility right? I never knew a human being could consume that amount of chocolate all in one go, makes sense it might mess with his head a bit"

"No offence mate but shove off, alright, you're being a tool" Sirius flashed him a lopsided grin to show there was no harm meant and the two did their silent (and slightly creepy) communication by eyes thing before James grinned in a knowing way and dragged off Peter who was currently very confused and more than a little disorientated at all the pulling about in various directions.

"Right, Remus, you are going to tell why you look so bloody forlorn right now or..or...um..well it won't be pretty, ok? Hello? Anyone in there?"

"Oh shush" came the brief exasperated exclamation from Remus, who followed it by a small choking sound that was presumably meant to intimate a certain amount of despair but in fact just sounded like a blast-ended skrewt might if it had just been stood on. His bright amber eyes suddenly fixed Sirius with a forlorn gaze, "I'm sorry, that was..that was horrible of me" his bottom lip trembled, "I-I'm a horrible person aren't I? You don't have to answer that by the way, I already know I am" To Sirius' utter horror, those amber eyes started watering.

_Oh crap. *sigh* hello mr. sugar crash, this is going to be uncomfortable isn't it?_

"Uh, calm down yeah mate, your being silly, your the nicest bloke here you daft old sock"

"I'm not being silly and I'm not an old sock!" he started shouting, "How could you say that?!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry okay? Why don't we just head back to the dorms yeah? You can get some sleep, your probably pretty damn tired right about now I'd bet"

"Actually, now you mention it, I am feeling a bit-"

"Oof" Sirius looked down at the currently snoring werewolf that had collapsed on top of him and sighed, wishing they could apparate within school grounds, or that he could apparate at all, as it was he would have to pull his friend up a couple staircases, through a bloody hole in the wall and up yet another staircase before he could deposit an unconscious Remus on his bed.

_Remus' bed I mean, not mine, as if I would think such a thing._

After much grumbling and one or two attempts to wake Remus by way of an inordinate amount of poking, followed by the laughter of everyone in the Gryffindor common room, including James and Peter who made no effort to assist Sirius at all, _though_ _they would of course be paying for it later, _the two friends, now almost equally exhausted fell in a heap on Remus' bed.

Remus was still snoring but Sirius somehow managed to extricate all his limbs though he did tumble on to the floor in the process, he picked himself up and brushed off imaginary dust whilst contemplating the heap that was Remus, sighing quietly and wondering why he bothered he set about untangling the werewolf, taking off his shoes and covering him up with the duvet.

"Night old sock"

**Review and you get Sirius wrapped up in a bow as an early christmas present :D **


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